Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Where do we go from here?

Watching the news channels in the US this morning, I am both amazed and amused by their inability to deal with the Obama win. It's like the old song lyrics go: "The Battle is done, and we kinda won, so we sound our victory cheer. Now tell me, where do we go from here?"

CNN is still a cornucopias of holograms and colors, with them still stressing over the number of senate and house seats whose ballots haven't been counted yet, and getting the right amount of popular votes for each candidate, because while it was important to let McCain know that he lost, it's even more important to twist the knife, because, otherwise, where is the fun in that?

MSNBC , on the other hand, has calmed down a little bit since yesterday cry-a-thon (seriously, news anchors were crying from Joy. So much for media unbiasedness), and are now getting down to the business of "Who will be in an Obama government", and arguing over every hypothetical appointee- even though Obama didn't choose anybody yet. Bush is so not mentioned anymore I think he should like bomb somebody, as if to remind the people that he is still around, and has 2 more month in office, during which he can still kind of do damage. Come on Bush, be a maverick: Bomb Vietnam or something. They will never see it coming!

A brief switch to the land of BET (that's Black Entertainment Television for you, whitey) has shown a a talk show where the host was asking a number of very well dressed Black folks what they should do to help the first black President, and one of them said that they now have to become more responsible, better husbands and wives, make sure that their kids stay in school and get an education,so that Obama can have- and I am not even kidding here- a "grassroots army of supporters" ready to come to his aid when he needs it. And that's when I switched the channel, because if you were waiting on a President from your same ethnicity to make sure your kids get an education, for no other reason than have them become soldiers for his cause, then, ehh, I don't even want you to vote. Nothing personal, You just don't sound all that well in the head to me.

And finally- and I have kept the best for last- Fox news. Oh Fox news. Watching Brit Hume yesterday referring to himself as a "Child of the civil rights movement" just made me fall off my bed and into the floor laughing my ass off. Way to Go Brother Brit. And then this morning they had Karl Rover Over to explain to them what happened: The news anchor asked bewilderingly "we always thought the country was center right, is this no longer the case?", to which Karl assured him that it is the case, by stating that Obama's policies of "cutting taxes for 95% of the american population" and "not having the government in complete control of health care" are both right-wing positions, and that's what won him the election. So Obama is a right-winger now? And here I thought he was a socialist communist godless muslim. My bad. So, I guess, for all you right wing people out there, Hurray for us. One of us just became President. Let's break out the champagne.

As for Palin, my dear lovely Palin who I will miss so much (and yes, I still have a crush on her: A beauty queen who runs shit in her own state, likes having kids -i.e. screwing- and her hobbies include shooting wolves from Helicopters? I WANT THAT!! Any Junior Palin's out there? I am single, baby. Hit me up), there is nothing on her since she last appeared crying yesterday. Whether she is the future of the republican party, or the next White Oprah, we don't know, but I know that she shouldn't run in a national election again. As this father of a friend of mine said to me yesterday "Palin..good for erections..bad for elections". Wise words from a wise man, one that we all could learn from.

And last, I leave you with this average Obama Voter, who will most likely hate him once he actually has to govern the mess that is the USA today.

And if you are curious why she will hate him, just watch this video, and just wait for the day when Black voters will turn on Obama and say things like "well, you know, he is half-white!"

Until that day comes, my friends, smoke'em if you got'em.

No comments: